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| Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?
This campus has gotten really weird. It feels like it's turning into Carlton or something. For one, there are larpers everywhere all the time. For those of you who aren't familiar, LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing, which pretty much means running around with cardboard armor on and hitting each other with foam swords. I don't have a problem with this, but it's just really weird, especially when the lounge of my dorm seems to be the larp headquarters; every other time I look, it's filled with nerdy looking kids surrounded by duct tape axes and polearms gluing foam spikes onto their sweet new plastic breastplates. To each his own, I guess.
That's not where the weirdness ends, though. The other day I was walking across campus around noon and saw a guy slowly walking across a slackline, with a guy on either side of the line playing didgeridoo. It seemed like some sort of trial for the guy on the line or something; it was really strange. It seems like every other member of the freshman class plays didgeridoo, and the rest play bongos or congas or some other obscure percussion instrument. I say this because of the frequent outdoor didge 'n' drums jam sessions that have been going on as of late. Once again, I don't have a problem with it, but at night sometimes it sounds like there's some sort of pagan ritual being conducted outside my window.
I hate that feeling you get when you think you're completely alone, and then suddenly you realize there's someone else around and it just wrecks the moment. I know other guy isn't trying to throw me off, but it's still like, "Come on man, you're really breaking my balls here. Just go somewhere else." But it's okay.
I don't normally like to post large chunks of song lyrics, but this one by Regina Spektor seems especially inspiring to me:
This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath
No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
I don't think I'm an insane person. Just one with a number of irrational tendencies.
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| Hey Kids.
I was pretty certain after Lollapalooza last year that nothing could really top it. This didn't really bother me, as expecting something greater seemed like a pretty ludicrous gesture. I had accepted the fact that this year would probably be sweet, but not completely mindblowing like last year's. Man was I wrong. This year's Lolla was on par, and possibly even better than, last year's, due to the astounding performances by the likes of Soulive, The Polyphonic Spree, Daft Punk, Cold War Kids, Regina Spektor, Muse, The Black Keys, Rodrigo y Gabriela, TV on the Radio...the list just goes on and on. Plus I got to sing into the mic at one point in the Spree show, I got to wear an eyepatch for a few hours, and Reese shot everyone in the elbows. Muy epico.
So in somewhat related news, I am rather ashamed to admit that I finally caved and got a facebook account, mostly so I can see all the awesome pictures Jared took this weekend. So be my friend. Or don't. The choice is yours and yours alone.
In less related news, I was doing better about saying swears when driving. But now I am cussing like a sailor once again. And I can't decide if this is good or bad. I guess as long as I keep the windows closed, I can't really get in any trouble.
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| I read in the Star Tribune the other day that tons of stuff has been getting stolen from both St. Olaf and Carleton, and that crime and theft in general has been going up in Northfield, mostly because there is a very significant portion of the student body of Northfield high school that use heroin and they are stealing crap to sell it to get their fix. wtf. This is ridiculous.
I am trying to say less swears when I drive. Most of them are never directed at anything in particular. I am also trying to fight the strong urges I have to bite my steering wheel........what's with this guy?
Still no sleep. But balloons are cool.
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| Sleep is becoming a chore once again...
There are two schools of thought when it comes to moods and emotions. One is of the belief that the only person who can control one's emotions is himself. A person's mood is determined not by any sort of outside circumstances, but only by his choice on how to react to them. This isn't a new idea by any means; the Stoics were advocating this sort of philosophy back in 400 BC. The other camp believes that emotions are influenced and perhaps even controlled by external sources, that perhaps it may be true that other humans have some effect on one's life. So taking the cynical view toward the matter, I end up with the following: the Stoic belief is crappy because it pretty much reduces a human to a robot, a completely independent entity with no need for interaction with anything or anyone. It has the ability to autonomously generate happiness, so who needs anyone else? Everyone could be a hermit and live a perfectly fulfilling life, as long as they told themselves they were doing so. The anti-Stocism is crappy because we have no control over ourselves, all our ups and downs are beyond our own influence, and so our lives become determined and not our own. Of course, I'm speaking in extremes here. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle of these two, but which side does it favor?
I suppose it doesn't really matter. In either case, what's important is that I am a master of repression. No matter where emotions come from, I can pretend them away like nobody's business if need be. I usually can't completely hide stuff, but I come pretty darn close. Of course, I'm sure it'll come back to utterly destroy me someday. But until then I'll just keep sweeping them under the carpet until there's no room left.
Sometimes I say "I hate my life," but I never actually mean it.
Transformers was pretty cool. And I'm going to see the Polyphonic Spree in a week, which means I am more pumped than sneakers from the 90's. Wow, nice joke, me.
This probably shouldn't be happening now.
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| Dreams are so weird. Sleeping dreams, that is. I mean, where do they come from, and why are they there? Do they serve a purpose? I remember someone once wrote that even if a man didn't need to sleep for rest, he would still sleep because man needs to dream. Sometimes dreams are so weird that you know that you're dreaming at the time, but other times they seem so real it's hard to believe it was just some mental gymnastics going on and nothing more. For a period of about two weeks during school, I was having a really hard time falling asleep at night, and when I finally did fall asleep, I'd only dream about not being able to fall asleep. It was so disconcerting, it would take me upwards of ten minutes in the morning to be fully convinced that I was awake.
Last night I had a dream that was so vivid it's still hard to believe it wasn't real. Everything was so perfect. The most beautiful girl appeared; I was certain she'd never want anything to do with me, but then she kissed me. I melted. I couldn't believe it was happening, I told myself, "You must be dreaming." I actually was so convinced that what was happening was impossible that I tried slapping myself, like in cartoons. And it hurt. "That's it, I'm awake," I said. "This is real, this is actually happening." This was a momentous revelation; I was so overjoyed, I just started laughing for no reason. I danced. I was on the highest cloud, and nothing was going to bring me down. I hadn't felt that happy for longer than I can remember. Euphoria filled every nook and cranny of my body.
Imagine my dismay when, five minutes later, I suddenly found myself lying in my bed, alone again.
...sorry if that was too emo.
Jack, Mike, Dana Chi, and I climbed the new St. Franny the other night. It was so awesome, it's so incredibly huge and the moon was really bright and everything was so amazing, and then Jack peed. But it was still pretty sweet. You have to see it to understand. Not the pee though. You don't have to see the pee. Well, maybe if you don't want to step in it. But that wasn't my point. See the school from on top of the school when the moon is being awesome. With or without urine. It's spectacular either way.
I'm back at school now, but I may be returning to B-town every so often on weekends, to climb schools and the like. But I also accept visitors. Hint hint.
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